THE BABY CHOICE

"**She wants my husband to have a baby with her.**"

That was the line that turned an open marriage into a crisis.

The poster, who said she was not the original poster but was writing under the name u/throwRA_unsure1234, had been with her husband since they were 22. Now both 38, they had built a life with two sons, one a teen, the other a preteen. When their youngest was 3, the couple opened their marriage. She wanted to explore. They each swapped partners a few times, and she eventually realized she liked women and was done experimenting. Her husband kept going, as long as they stayed within the ground rules.

That was how Sarah entered the picture.

Sarah, 40, was the husband's new girlfriend, and the spark between them was immediate. Sarah wanted to meet the wife, and the wife agreed to the relationship on one condition: it could not interfere with family life, parenting, or the husband's responsibilities at home. For a while, things stayed contained. He saw Sarah one weekend a month, sometimes on little trips. The wife said she liked seeing him happy. Sarah even said she had no interest in replacing her.

Then Sarah asked to meet them at a restaurant and dropped the bombshell.

According to the wife, Sarah said she wanted the husband to father a baby with her. She framed it as if he would be involved, but the situation would be "like being a single mom by choice." The wife's head spun. She worried about saying no and crushing her husband's happiness. She worried about saying yes and reshaping her marriage and her kids' future around a new baby. She also admitted something more personal: she had always wanted a daughter, and feared Sarah would become "the woman who finally gives him a daughter."

The husband told her it was 100% her decision. If she was uncomfortable, it would not happen. Sarah and the husband both said their relationship would continue either way. But when the wife asked what he really thought, he said he loved Sarah, loved having more kids, and would do it "in a heartbeat" if it were up to him alone.

She snapped back with an ultimatum: either they separate and divorce so he can get Sarah pregnant, or he gets snipped before touching Sarah, or any other woman, again.

At first he said he needed to think. Then he chose Sarah and the baby plan. The wife said she was filing for divorce. He argued that divorce would only cost money and reduce her time with the kids. Later, she met with an attorney, then decided to stay and work on things, while also seeing a therapist familiar with ENM.

Then came the next update: Sarah got pregnant "almost immediately."

Sarah later moved back to Canada to be closer to her sister. The wife said Sarah planned to break up with the husband once the baby is older, while keeping him involved through visits and FaceTime. Their youngest is excited. Their oldest wants nothing to do with the baby. The in-laws are confused.

And the wife, after all of it, ended one update with the line: "Overall life is good :) thank you."