Family Feuds·
CLOSET CUSTODY BATTLE
A custody battle erupts when a parent's wardrobe is looted across homes, triggering legal wrangling and a shift in parenting tactics centered on the child's clothes.
Should they keep sending thrift clothes or nicer ones?
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The fight started with Alex's closet going empty.
On weekdays, the poster has Alex. On weekends, Alex stays with the ex-wife, Jenn. The poster says they make more money, keep nicer clothes for Alex at their house, and have primary custody, so no child support is paid to Jenn. But when Alex goes to Jenn's apartment, the poster sends him back in the same worn-out clothes he arrived in, "not great clothes, kinda cheap or really worn", while washing the outfits he wears during the week.
At first, it seemed harmless. Then the better clothes began disappearing.
Little by little, the clothes Alex wore to Jenn's place stopped coming back. The poster says they did not notice right away, but eventually the closet at home was bare. So they asked Jenn where the clothes were and told her to send them back. Jenn responded by going to her lawyer and claiming the clothes were hers and that the poster had no right to them.
That sent the whole thing into legal territory. The poster says they had to dig up receipts proving they had bought the clothing. Lawyers got involved, "a whole thing which cost wayyyy too much money," and in the end Jenn was told to return the clothes.
After that, the poster changed tactics.
Instead of sending Alex in the nicer outfits, they began "dressing our child in the clothes she sent him to me in," or in thrift clothes "that I don't care about disappearing." Jenn fired back by text, saying the poster was cruel and should let her keep Alex's clothes because the poster makes more money. The poster replied that if Jenn wants nicer clothes, she should buy them, adding that Jenn makes decent money too.
The poster also said it was ridiculous that Jenn tried to "steal his whole closet" while choosing vacations instead of buying better clothes for Alex. Their sister called them petty and said to just give Jenn some clothes. The poster asked, "Should I?"
In comments and edits, the poster said Alex does not really care, but has said that "when it's time to head home the only clothes are the crappy ones." The poster described a nice coat that disappeared and said Jenn sometimes rushed Alex out the door without a coat. They added that Alex does not wear the thrift or worn clothes to school because Jenn drops him off at 8 on Sunday and Alex is back before Monday classes. They also said Jenn will not drive Alex to see friends on weekends, which is part of why Alex could not do the sport he wanted, since Jenn would not drive him to practices or games.
The poster says they are trying to get full custody. In another edit, they said none of this would have happened if Jenn "was just normal and set back clothes." They later explained what happened to the missing items: some stayed at Jenn's house, some were given to family or sold online, and others came back damaged. The poster does not know whether those clothes were damaged before or after Jenn was told to return them.