AT 2 A

At 2 a.m., a boyfriend showed up at the door ready to argue about a woman he had only been dating for two months living with her best friend.

The 22-year-old poster had been sharing a flat with Joel, a 22-year-old gay man she met at university, for years. After uni, she briefly moved home, then came back in late November and resumed the same easy setup: split bills, shared chores, cooking, TV, no drama. Joel later got a boyfriend of his own, and the poster said she got along with both of them just fine.

At New Year, she started dating again and matched with Max, 23, who lived nearby. Their first date went well. She usually brings up her living situation early because an ex had been bothered by it, but she forgot to mention it on the first date and told Max on the second. He seemed fine.

That changed once they'd been together a little over two months and she invited him over. Before he came by, he asked whether Joel would be there. Then the messages started.

Max said he didn't like that she lived with another man. He called the setup "weird" and "inappropriate." She pushed back and pointed out that he still lived with his parents and shared a shower, laundry, and couch there, which only seemed to make him more annoyed.

He said she was being "taken advantage of," that she needed to move out, and then went a step further: they should move in together. After two months, he wanted her to leave her home and move in with him. She refused flatly, saying she was not moving in with someone after two months.

Max shot back that if she was serious about him, she would want to. He said no "normal girlfriend" would live with another man over her boyfriend. Their contact dropped off after that, and the poster felt guilty about not mentioning her living arrangement on the first date, but thought his reaction was extreme.

Then came the update.

Before things escalated, she had sent Max her address and postcode, assuming he would come over. Instead, while she was already planning to end things, he arrived at 2 a.m. She opened the door thinking it was Joel. It was Max.

He said he had been fine at first, but after a friend called the situation a "red flag," he started doubting it. He also said he had looked at Joel's Instagram and decided Joel "doesn't seem gay" because he didn't post his boyfriend. The poster told him that was a ridiculous assumption and that Joel's sexuality was not up for debate. She added that Joel had never made her uncomfortable in more than two years of living together.

Max repeated that he was "looking out for me." He said he'd been looking at apartments for weeks because he felt like a burden living with his parents, and brought up moving in together again. He told her he loved her.

She told him, "I need time to think," but also that showing up at 2AM was not okay. She ended the conversation, locked the door, and then sent him a paragraph ending things. They were not compatible, she wrote. He had upset her. She said she would likely block him, and later added she was feeling relieved that it was over now. Joel came home afterward and was supportive.