PAID JOB, FAMILY TUG OF WAR

A 28-year-old sister's childcare arrangement with her brother blew up the moment she said she had a paid job and would not skip orientation to babysit his kids.

She wrote that she had been watching her 25-year-old brother's boys since his oldest was born, nearly four years ago. At first, she even changed her work schedule to help cover overnight care so her brother and his wife could keep working. Then the second child came, and the exhaustion caught up fast. She said she was sometimes running on only three or four hours of sleep a night.

She tried to set limits, but says she kept getting pulled back in by pressure from her brother and their parents. The setup eventually became a bizarre routine: she would come home from work, nap, go watch the boys, then head home to sleep more. All of it, she said, for $100 a month. She also told them early on that the arrangement had a timer on it, two years, and that if they had a third child, she would be done.

Then she lost her job and spent almost two months unemployed, applying everywhere for full-time and part-time work. This month, she finally got hired. The new job came with two days of orientation and a part-time day shift that would start later, possibly at the end of April or the end of May.

She told her brother and sister-in-law about the orientation, then reminded them again. That's when, she said, everything exploded.

According to her post, she was called "a major fuck up and disappointment" who needed to grow up. Her brother also told her that when their parents pass, he would not keep bailing her out the way she had been helping him. He claimed she never told him the new job was a day shift and that it "won't work for him and fucks everyone else over," because then the boys would not have childcare.

After arguing and crying, she told him she could not pass up a paid job and would be going to orientation. He had until the end of April to find alternate childcare.

After that, she said, her brother and his wife barely spoke to her except to ask about the baby's last bottle when they arrived.

In an update, she said orientation went great. Her brother still did not really talk to her, though her sister-in-law acted normal again after a day or two, aside from one comment about having to work more hours now.

A new wrinkle popped up with three training days the next week. They were not mandatory, but they were paid, and HR confirmed the training would help her learn products. Her mother said she and her father could not get any more days off and that, since the training was not mandatory, she should skip it and watch the kids. She planned to go anyway.

Later, she added that the store would not even open until the end of next month, and they had not accounted for all the training before then. Her brother's schedule also changed, and now he only works half shifts so he can be home before their mother has to go to work.