Wedding Drama·
FUNDING THE WEDDING
A father's wedding funding ultimatum collides with a daughter's plan for a child-free ceremony, forcing a high-stakes clash over money, boundaries, and family expectations.
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A father's wedding promise came with strings attached, and when his daughter tried to cut one of them, the money vanished.
According to the post, he and his wife have always told their children the same thing: if they got married and followed a few house rules, the parents would pay for the wedding. Those rules were laid out plainly: "All family has to be invited ( exceptions if something major happened )"; "The wedding can not be a destination wedding (if all your guest need to get on a plane basically and leave the country )"; and "immediate family gets a plus one even if they are not dating someone."
He says the rules are "not that hard to follow," and for their older kids, they apparently weren't. He says those siblings got "a free wedding" because they stayed within the boundaries.
Now his 31-year-old daughter is engaged to Cindy, 34, and the two are deep into wedding planning. They've picked a venue and are working on the guest list. Then came the issue: the daughter said the wedding would be child free.
That, the father says, broke the first rule.
He wrote that "yes that includes the kids." In his view, if family must be invited, then the children are family too. The daughter disagreed and asked him to be flexible. In a sit-down conversation, she pushed to keep the wedding child free while still receiving his support. She said she wanted "an elegant event," and explained that Cindy doesn't like kids much because she "experienced parentification as a kid."
He thought it over and came back with a no.
He told both women he would not pay for the wedding if it stayed child free. They could absolutely still have that kind of ceremony, he said, but he "just won't be paying for it."
In later notes, he added more context. Cindy's parents, he said, are the type who "don't give money for wedding" and are big on "if you are old enough to get married then you should pay for it people." He also said Cindy has spent time around children before, has babysat, and has attended many events with kids, even though she personally doesn't want children.
He said this wasn't the first time one of his kids had to adjust plans to meet the funding rules. One son and daughter-in-law had wanted an Italy wedding, he said, but backed out after he told them he wouldn't pay.
For now, the daughter and Cindy can still have the wedding they want. They just won't be getting "50k-100k" from him. "They will need to pay for it themselves," he wrote. "Everyone is pissed basically."