Dating Disasters·
THE CHRISTMAS PROPOSAL
A long-time friend objects when a plan to propose at Christmas frames engagement as a gift, sparking a clash over gift etiquette and holiday expectations.
Is a proposal enough as a Christmas gift?
Be one of the first to vote.
Harry was about to turn Christmas morning into a public proposal, and then tell his girlfriend that "getting engaged" was her Christmas gift.
The poster has known Harry for more than a decade. He was even in the poster's wedding party. By the poster's account, he is "an all round great guy" most of the time, and his girlfriend, the woman he has been dating for about four years, is "an absolute diamond" who brings out the best in him.
A couple of weeks ago, Harry shared his plan: he wanted to propose over Christmas. Not quietly, either. He meant to have his parents "unexpectedly" show up early in the morning, then pop the question during present opening, with both sets of parents, the couple's siblings, partners, and kids all there to watch.
Then came the part that stopped the conversation cold.
A couple of days later, while they were talking through the arrangements over a drink, Harry said the engagement would save him time on the rest of his Christmas shopping.
The poster asked what he meant. Harry explained that because he was proposing, he had not planned to get his partner anything else for Christmas.
That did not sit right with the poster at all. They told Harry that proposing and giving Christmas presents are not mutually exclusive. They also pointed out a practical problem: his girlfriend would likely be buying him gifts, too. And if the proposal was supposed to be a surprise, it would be hard to keep that illusion intact if there were no presents from him under the tree.
Harry's answer was simple: "getting engaged" is a gift.
The poster disagreed. An engagement, they said, is not the same kind of exchange as Christmas or other gift-giving occasions. Harry did not budge. The conversation stayed short, and it was not a huge blowup, just about five minutes over a drink, but the disagreement lingered.
Afterward, Harry told the poster he was probably not going to share more about the engagement because of "differing views."
The poster, meanwhile, was left wondering if they had overstepped by saying anything at all.
Their question was straightforward: are they wrong for telling a close friend that proposing is not a suitable Christmas present?