THE LOCKER ROOM SHOCK

A hospital's women's locker room was hit with a mystery so blunt it needed no translation: someone had "shit on the floor in the women's locker room" and walked off without cleaning it up.

For a couple of days, that was all anyone had. No witnesses. No obvious clues. The investigators, as the poster put it, "were stymied." Then yesterday afternoon, the same person appeared again.

This time, the trail was caught in motion.

In surgery, a traveling surgical technologist was wheeling a cart toward the elevator when a colleague saw her pause, stick her leg out, and "shake several poop nuggets out of her pant leg and onto the floor." After that, she rolled the cart onto the elevator, pressed the button, and walked away.

Management was notified right away, and the poster says the woman did not yet know she had been caught. A mini update followed: the tech was scheduled for an 1100 shift, but the manager told the charge nurse she "has a meeting" first thing and not to give her any lunch breaks.

Then came the main update. The manager intercepted the tech before she got into the department and brought her to the office for that meeting. What happened inside was not shared. What happened after was plain enough: she cleaned out her locker in the locker room and was escorted to the parking garage by security staff.

Later, management said the pooper "has resigned and will not be returning." The charge nurse also heard the manager on the phone with security asking for the badge logs from the women's locker room.

As for how she managed it, the poster and a work bestie had a theory. Maybe she pooped while in surgery and held it in "her cheeks like a reverse hamster." Maybe she had trained herself to poop on the move "like a horse on parade." The poster also suspected her oversized pants may have been part of the plan for "stealthy shitting."

Why any of it happened, the poster said, would probably never be known. It could have been medical. It could have been a power move. "A kink? No idea."

The post closed with another hospital disaster from the past: an older nurse who was sleeping with both a scrub tech and a surgical assistant. Once the men found out about each other, one caught the other slashing his tires, a fight broke out, security stepped in, both men were fired and escorted out separately, and one came back to keep fighting until police were called. Their wives found out, and the nurse later dumped both men, quit, and moved out of state.