THE UTM REMARK

A family dinner turned into a prestige jab when one sister-in-law decided UofT Mississauga was "not the actual one."

The poster was at her in-laws' home with her husband, their 2-year-old daughter, and the rest of the family, including her sister-in-law, the sister-in-law's husband, and their kids. The conversation had started innocently enough: a cousin's child was heading off to university, and everyone was talking about how a good school can lead to networking and job opportunities.

The poster mentioned that she got her first Business Analyst job because her interviewer had also gone to UofT. That's when the sister-in-law jumped in with the line that changed the mood of the room: "UofT Mississauga right? So not the actual one?"

Her husband replied that it was the same thing. The sister-in-law shrugged.

So the poster asked a question back: where had the sister-in-law gone to university?

The answer came fast. "UofT and added St.George Campus."

That landed. The poster then asked how the sister-in-law was using her degree, knowing she was a stay-at-home mom. According to the poster, the sister-in-law said she chose to be a SAHM and stopped talking.

The table went quiet, but not for long. The husband thought the poster had crossed a line. He told her the sister-in-law's remark was tactless, but not malicious. The poster disagreed and felt the original comment was rude first. Later, the sister-in-law texted the husband about how out of line the poster was. He answered that it was a misunderstanding and told her to let it go.

The post drew a lot of support, but the attention left the poster uneasy. In an update, she said she had been heartened by the NTA votes, but then felt uncomfortable with how hard the sister-in-law was being criticized. She decided to try to fix things.

She asked her husband whether the sister-in-law was still messaging him. He said she had sent one final message and gone quiet. The poster said she would apologize if the sister-in-law did too.

Then the sister-in-law called.

She said her UTM remark had come across as insulting, even though that had not been her intention. She said she was proud of the poster's career and the way she balanced it with motherhood. The poster apologized too, saying her comment about the degree was out of line and had "zero thought" behind it.

Both women got emotional. The poster said they talked through it, and that the sister-in-law was "really proud of me and my career and the way I juggled it with being a mother," while the poster said the sister-in-law was "an awesome mother." In the end, they agreed: "We just agreed to put this behind us."