Workplace Nightmares·
HATS AND MAKEUP TENSION
A casual office question about hats spirals into a tense debate on makeup and sexism as coworkers question appearances and motives.
Was that fair, or did he go too far?
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A casual office question turned into a back-and-forth about hair, makeup, and who gets to ask what after one coworker decided to pry first.
The poster, a 29-year-old man, was in a long meeting with a few coworkers when a newer colleague, a woman in her late 30s, steered the conversation toward professional experiences. Then she looked at him with a smirk and said, "Can I ask you a question ?"
"yeah sure what's up?" he replied.
She went straight for his headwear. "why do you always wear hats?"
He answered without much fuss. "I like hats."
"But everyday?" she pressed.
He explained that he was bald and had been since he started balding at 21. He said he liked his head shape, had shaved his head, and later started wearing hats after people began assuming he was older than he was. By 25, he said, strangers were mistaking him for 30. He said he wore hats because he liked how they looked and because he did not want to seem like he was 35. "yeah I'm bald, I like my headshape but I don't wanna look like I'm 35 so I'll wear hats for now, plus I look good in them!" he said.
That answer did not end the conversation. The coworker fired back: "29 and wearing hats everyday to hide? Wow"
That was enough to set him off.
He pointed out that since joining the office, he had seen her wear makeup every single day, on casual Fridays and even on work-from-home team calls. Then he asked her the same kind of question she had asked him: why did she wear makeup every day?
Her response was immediate. "that's a sexist question"
He pushed back. "How? Other women in the office don't wear makeup everyday and my boyfriend sometimes wears makeup when we go out to a high class event. He just doesn't do it everyday."
Then he repeated the question: "So why do you wear makeup everyday?"
The room went tense. Another coworker giggled. The woman stopped talking to him after that.
Now the poster is left wondering whether asking why she wears makeup every day made him the asshole, after she started the exchange by asking why he always wears hats.