WEDDING DOG DILEMMA

A wedding guest with seizure symptoms is now the reason a family is on the brink of blowing up.

The poster says the invitations for their wedding went out last week, with the ceremony five months away, and now they are trying to decide whether they crossed a line by asking a question no bride or groom wants to ask: can a service dog stay home?

The service dog belongs to the poster's sister-in-law, "my SIL (my husband's brother's wife)," as the poster puts it, after she had brain cancer about five years ago. She now has seizures three to four times a week. About 20 seconds before one hits, she feels dizzy, then goes unconscious for a couple of minutes. Her Labrador senses the seizures one to two minutes early and gets her to safety, while also warning the people around her.

"The dog (Labrador) is an angel, but SIL, not so much," the poster wrote. They added, "She is not a good person," saying she makes false claims about the poster's and fiancé's fields and screams when corrected. Even so, the poster and fiancé have stayed civil because the brother-in-law loves her.

The problem is the maid of honor: the poster's sister, who is very allergic to dogs. Around dogs, her eyes turn red and itchy, she sneezes constantly, and she gets a small asthma attack. Antihistamines do not help. The poster says she would "sacrifice" herself, but in a closed room with a dog for five hours, she would have a strong asthma attack. "Me and my fiancé want my MOH to be comfortable in our wedding," the poster said. "It's shallow, but I want her to feel pretty in the pictures and not to have swollen red eyes."

They tried to solve it without banning the dog. They proposed that the sister-in-law's husband stay with her the whole time, and even offered to bring a plus-one to keep her company. The venue is a 50-person room, though, so real separation was not possible. An outdoor winter wedding was not an option.

The plan had been to tell the sister-in-law in person, but she canceled lunch at the last minute. With invitations already needed, the couple sent their explanation and proposals over Messenger, hoping it would give her time to think. Instead, the sister-in-law called back and screamed that the poster was ableist and an "A**" for suggesting she be removed from her medical help. She said the poster wanted her to create a scene at the wedding and fall hard enough to get a concussion.

Then the brother-in-law weighed in with a blunt line: "what she says goes." The poster says they still do not know what he thinks.

Now the mother-in-law is furious and says she will not come if the sister-in-law cannot bring her dog. The poster says they are biased because they prefer their sister, and because they themselves have food allergies and believe allergies should be accommodated at a wedding.

"AITA. Is it a A* move of me to suggest that?" the poster asked.