WEEKLY SEX, SHATTERED MARRIAGE

The marriage did not end over cheating, money, or a screaming fight. It ended over sex once a week.

"I was originally going make another post with this account but that never happened, so here I am further down the line in this situation," the writer says, opening with an update that already has the shape of a breakup. They add, "Just venting not asking for advice, as all decisions have already been made."

The couple had been together six years and married for three. The writer says the relationship was, by every other measure, a good one. They shared hobbies, got along extremely well, rarely fought, split chores evenly, paid bills in proportion to income, and liked spending their free time in the same ways. "He's truly a great partner and a kind thoughtful person," the writer says.

But their sex drives never matched. The writer says they have always had a low libido and have dealt with the same issue in previous relationships. Sex was not absent, this was not a dead bedroom. "We were having sex once a week, I was making sure of it because he had expressed these concerns before," the writer says. They add, "I'm pretty neutral on sex and could go months without it and be perfectly fine." It was not a hormone problem, and it was not because the sex was bad.

At first, the husband did not seem to mind. Over time, though, the frustration grew. The two of them talked it through and landed on a compromise: once a week. That arrangement held for a while, until a few months ago, when he said he still felt frustrated and wanted sex every other day, or several times a week.

The writer could not do that. "I said I couldn't do that, that's why we went to once a week because that's what I can handle," they explain. His answer changed everything. "He said he didn't think he could be happy like that." After six years, that was the line he drew.

Now they are separated, and he has moved out. The house was theirs, bought before he entered the picture. The pets were the writer's too. They had been talking about having kids. Half his belongings are in storage because his hobbies take up so much room, and his new apartment is too small to hold everything. He also sold his antique car because he could not park it there, and the writer would not let him keep it at their house.

Money is another sore spot. The writer earns more than twice what he does and had been paying more than half the bills. They say they don't know whether he has started dating, and they told him they did not care if he did while the divorce was being set up. They also make clear he was faithful; there was no other woman waiting in the wings.

So now he is alone in a cramped, pet-free apartment, with almost none of his hobby space and no sex at all. All because once a week "wasn't good enough." The writer says they are not taking pleasure in it, but they do find it funny. They've been devastated for months, they say, and are only now starting to see how ridiculous it all looks. "He's a really good person," they conclude, "but maybe kind of an idiot."