Family Feuds·
CUSTODY VACATION BLOWUP
A costly four-year custody battle ends with a father planning an overseas trip he saved for, while his teenage kids react with resentment over being left behind.
Was this planning ahead or punishing the kids?
Be one of the first to vote.
The custody fight had already cost $165,000 when the children asked why they were being left out of the Spain-and-France trip.
For four years, the poster and their ex-wife had been locked in a dispute over their two children, now 14 and 16. The couple had originally split time 50/50 after the divorce. Then, four years ago, the ex-wife remarried, and her new husband urged her to start a custody battle.
The poster says they poured $165,000 into the case. The ex-wife, they said, had help from her father, who was wealthy and paid all of her legal fees.
In court, the older child told the court-appointed therapist, "I want to live with mom and only see Dad every other weekend." The younger child first said they wanted 50/50, then changed course: "Oh maybe 70/30 with Mom. I just want court stuff to be over."
The case went to trial. The poster's attorney fought hard, but the judge made the decision clear. "Given the children's age, their preference will take precedence and we won't split them up, as it break their sibling bond."
Then came the trip.
The poster and their wife had already been planning an international vacation with her friends, her sister, and their husbands. The itinerary was set: nine days in Spain and France. The dates were chosen, and the tickets were already bought.
When the children found out, they were not happy. They asked why they could not go and said it was unfair. For them, it would have been their only chance to travel internationally.
The poster told them the trip was something "we planned" and "saved for." Later, the explanation got sharper. "You're young adults now. You chose to spend the majority of your time with your mother, and you got what you wanted. But choices have consequences. One of them is that you don't get to join me on things like this."
That set off a bigger blowup. The children got very upset, and the younger one fired back: "You're just mad we have more fun at Mom's house."
Now the poster is asking whether they are the asshole for planning an overseas trip without the children after the custody fight ended the way it did.