Family Feuds·
READING ROADBLOCK
A Connecticut freshman struggling to read at a first-grade level navigates rigorous supports, family tensions, and legal questions as a household fights to unlock a possible learning barrier.
Strict support or too much pressure?
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A 14-year-old freshman in Connecticut can barely get past "Pah" in pasta.
That's where the reading starts now: with a word like *pasta*, and a stepdaughter who sounds it out, stalls, and then starts guessing words like "places" and "plates." The poster says the girl is reading at roughly a first-grade level, and that even simple practice can end in tears, shutdowns, or full meltdowns.
The poster has been in the girl's life since she was 4. The parents share joint custody, though the mother is the custodial parent. In first grade, teachers discussed holding the girl back, but her mother fought it, and she moved on to second grade anyway.
By age 8, the family had already started tutoring. After about a year, there was "no progression," and they had to stop because they could not afford it. The poster says they and the father have been the only parents consistently working with schools and helping at home.
Middle school brought more support. The girl got an IEP. A speech pathologist worked with her. Later, the family found a former teacher trained in Orton Gillingham to tutor her again. Still, progress remained painfully slow.
About a year ago, the girl said, "Well when I'm an adult I'll just know how to read." The poster says that moment stuck with them. Reading with her often goes badly, so the family now leans on tutors and a reading app, Read with Ello, which listens and corrects her. She still sees the tutor twice a week and uses the app at least two hours a week.
They also use consequences and incentives. If she skips reading, she loses access to everything on her iPhone except calls and texts. If she goes two weeks without the required reading, she loses a $20 weekly allowance. They've tried positive reinforcement and monthly goals too.
The mother, the poster says, "has never once helped SD with schoolwork or contributed to any help we've given her." Her explanation has been, "She has a learning disability, the school has done all they can do." But the poster says the girl has never been diagnosed with a specific learning disability, and the family is now trying to get a referral from the high school so a doctor can check for possible physical causes. They've also set up an eye doctor appointment to look for BVD or another issue.
In an update, the poster said they now understand they should have pushed harder and are doing so. A school meeting led to a big change: the girl was pulled from Spanish class after the case manager said learning a new language was unrealistic, and she had asked not to be in it. Her math placement was changed too.
The girl was upset and texted her mom. The mother refused to pick her up from school, saying, "you asked your dad to change those classes so that's what he did, I'm not picking you up." Another PPT meeting is now scheduled, and the family is looking into a new lawyer.