Dating Disasters·
IN HER LEAGUE
A recently active 19-year-old on dating apps clashes with a friend's reality check, discovering the men she trash-talks are exactly the men she might date.
Honesty or overstepping here?
Be one of the first to vote.
A week into her first dating apps, a 19-year-old was already furious that the men she saw were "ugly, short, etc", and then her friend pointed out that the men she was swiping past were the exact type she kept calling below her league.
The poster said the friend had just downloaded Tinder and Hinge for the first time about a week earlier. She had been talking for a while about wanting a boyfriend, wanting couple things, and feeling lonely when she was single. The poster described her as "very normal and average looks wise: not ugly, not super hot, just alright."
But once she got on the apps, the complaints started. According to the poster, she kept saying that "almost all the men there are ugly, short, etc" and that she "doesn't match with anybody hot." The frustration was familiar enough that the poster finally asked to see who she was talking about.
The friend showed her likes.
That's where the poster says the picture changed fast. The men weren't some parade of disasters; they were, in the poster's words, "perfectly in her league, as in moderately attractive guys." Looking through the profiles, the poster told her friend that these were the kind of men she should be considering, especially if she really wanted a relationship.
The advice was simple: "give some of them a chance."
That did not go over well.
The friend pushed back immediately, insisting that she was "much more attractive than them." The poster answered by pointing to the obvious gap between what she wanted and what she was actually getting on the apps. If she wasn't matching with the men she found attractive, the poster said, then she wasn't in their league.
The exchange sharpened from there. The poster's point was that she kept saying she wanted a boyfriend, but she was dismissing the men who were matching with her as too ugly or too short while also saying the hotter men weren't matching back. The friend, hearing that, called the poster an AH.
So the whole question landed in one blunt sentence: AITA for telling my friend she's in the same league as the men she calls ugly?