THE PROMOTION DILEMMA

She was six months from marriage when her future got yanked in two directions at once.

A 26-year-old woman says she and her 28-year-old fiancé had built nearly seven years of life together: a house, pets, shared bills, and a wedding date on the calendar. Then came the job offer she'd been working toward for more than two years. It wasn't just a title bump. It was a major promotion, a move to a new city, and a salary that would "DOUBLE!!!" her pay.

"It's a big step forward," she said, adding that she was "very young to get the offer."

But when she told her fiancé, the answer came fast. He "basically shut it down." According to her, he said he wasn't ready to move for at least six months and would prefer to never move.

That left her staring at a deadline. The company needed an answer soon, and her current role was being eliminated in two months. If she waited, she said, "I won't have a job."

The move itself would not strand him, either. In an edit, she clarified that the new position was in another state, could pay up to $200,000, and was closer to her family. She also said he could keep his job after relocating. The house, she added, belonged to him, and she paid rent; they split the rest of their bills and expenses 50/50.

But the promotion did more than expose a disagreement about geography. It made her look at the relationship with new eyes.

"I've been carrying the emotional and household labor in our relationship for a long time," she said. She described doing most of the day-to-day chores, managing the pets, planning the wedding, building their social life, and supporting them financially and emotionally. He contributed financially, owned the house, and helped with logistics, she said, but she still felt like the one keeping everything moving.

On the emotional side, she says she has felt alone for a long time. When she is upset, he withdraws, ignores her, changes the subject, or makes a joke. She says she has asked for "presence, care, curiosity, a little warmth," but that it rarely shows up, and that he gets defensive or frustrated when she brings it up.

Now she is left with a choice that feels impossible: stay and turn down a major career leap, or take the job and risk ending a relationship she has invested years in.

"I'm engaged and supposed to get married in six months," she wrote. "I just got offered a big promotion that requires moving. My fiancé said no, and also hasn't been showing up for me emotionally for a long time."

For now, she says, "I feel stuck and unsure what to do next."