Family Feuds·
THE RECURRING MESS
A 23-year-old caregiver at home fights daily to keep a house from spiraling into chaos, balancing student life, family illness, and boundaries while seeking outsiders' perspective.
Is this a normal home setup or not?
Be one of the first to vote.
A 23-year-old living at home says her parents' house keeps sinking back into the same mess, and she's the one cleaning it almost every day.
She's in school for a bachelor's degree in behavioral science and taking summer classes, while also working from home as an in-home caretaker for a woman with mobility disabilities. That job used to be her mother's, but her mom is recovering from Nasal Pharyngeal Carcinoma, so the poster has taken it over full time. Her dad, she says, also works full time.
So the days are already packed. Then there's the house itself.
"This is the state of the house almost all the time, unless I clean it," she wrote. She said that if she does clean, "it turns back into this state by the next day."
The mess is not a one-time slip or an especially bad week. It's the default. She says she cleans nearly every day, and still comes back to the same clutter, the same disorder, the same rooms that seem to reset overnight.
What she can't figure out is whether this is just how other grown adults live.
"I'm just confused abt if this is normal behavior for grown adults?" she asked.
She doesn't paint her parents as villains, but she does try to separate their situations. She says she excuses her mother "a lot because she is sick" and excuses her father because he works so much. She also says she has no trouble cleaning up after herself. The problem, as she sees it, is that she can't function in a house that stays dirty around her.
"Anytime I bring it up to my parents, I get reminded that I eat and live here for free," she wrote.
That's where the conversation seems to stop. The parents point to the fact that she lives at home without paying, and she's left trying to explain that the mess still affects her daily life. She says she can't ignore it, "not matter how hard I try because I have to function in this house too."
So she turned to the internet with the same question she says she can't settle at home.
"Someone please enlighten me and tell me if I'm overreacting or not," she asked.