PUNISHED FOR BEING POOR

Just before her first nephew was born, OOP got invited to a baby shower with a Winnie the Pooh theme, and showed up with the only gift she could afford. A student working part time at minimum wage, she bought a Tiny Toons onesie and a couple of receiving blankets. It wasn't fancy, but it was something. And it was about to become a problem. At the shower, SIL looked at the gift and immediately complained that it didn't match the theme. MIL piled on, sneering that it was cheap and unworthy. OOP tried to explain that she simply couldn't afford more, but that didn't stop MIL from asking why she bothered coming at all if she couldn't bring a decent present. The line landed like a slap. OOP left in tears and went home. Later, EB told her the shower had ended right after she left, but made sure to hint that her reaction was the reason. When OOP told her parents what happened, her mom was relieved she hadn't gone. OOP, meanwhile, was left with the same ugly memory: being humiliated for bringing what she could. The next story was supposed to be different. For K1's sixth birthday, OOP and DH helped out with a bowling party. They brought a homemade cake and grab bags for the kids. They paid for the cake and the gift bags themselves. Then the bowling alley bill came. MIL stared at the receipt and tried to push the whole thing onto OOP and DH too. The total was $66 for 12 kids, with a reduced charge for the two who didn't bowl. MIL claimed OOP had promised to pay. When OOP asked what exactly they were supposed to be paying for again, she reminded everyone they had already covered the cake and the bags. MIL shot back that the cake had been homemade, so OOP had "cheaped out" and should cover the bowling instead. DH refused. SIL then dragged K1 into it, telling him that Auntie and Uncle did not want to pay for his birthday party. The kid looked stunned, then answered that Auntie and Uncle brought cake and presents, and he thought his parents and gramma were taking everyone out. OOP and DH left after that. Later, K1 called to thank her for the cake. Years later, DH reminded OOP of a funeral tea where SIL had been commenting on items in the house and saying the house was "all theirs now." DH said he pulled EB and SIL out of the room after that, and didn't tell the rest of the family because OOP had already been through enough that day. Then there was EB's money mess. He defaulted on a car loan Dad had cosigned, agreed to make payments on a Geo Metro, made none, then sold the car for scrap after claiming it needed a $400 brake job. Dad ended up paying for it for a year. OOP says the real breaking point came later, when EB abandoned her at a train station on crutches because he was going shopping with SIL.