THE PARK VOW SMOKE

The fight started over smoke, but it landed in the middle of a vow renewal.

A woman planning a combined anniversary party, birthday celebration, and wedding do-over said her adult daughter had long known how she felt about marijuana. The smell bothered her, she said, and the two had already drawn a hard line at home: "my husband and I don't allow it in our house." When she visits her daughter, she can smell it there, but she keeps quiet because, as she put it, "it's her space, she can do what she wants."

The family was getting ready for something bigger than a dinner. Next month, the poster and her husband are holding "a vow renewal" at a park, finally giving friends and family the celebration they missed after a courthouse wedding right before COVID. At first, she told the kids she wanted them standing with her during the ceremony. She has three children in the picture, her daughter, her husband's son, and the daughter they share, and the kids agreed. Clothing was discussed. Details were discussed.

Then came the call that changed the tone.

Last week, the poster phoned her daughter to confirm what she would wear and to ask one more thing: that her daughter and husband not smoke while they were at the park for the event. The daughter, she said, "became very upset and started to yell at me." She asked whether alcohol would be restricted too. The poster replied that they weren't providing alcohol, but if guests brought it and drank it, she couldn't stop them.

That answer did not end the argument. The daughter said she didn't know how long she would stay if she couldn't even go to her car to smoke. The poster pushed back, noting, "Again it's not even LEGAL to use in public spaces like the park." She later clarified that the marijuana use was recreational, not medical, for both the daughter and her husband. Edibles were allowed, she said, but she asked that they keep them in the car and not make it obvious they were consuming anything "in front of the police chief."

That detail matters because the poster's husband works for the police department, and he had invited a few friends from work.

She also said the objection wasn't to private use in general. In the state where they live, marijuana is legal for adults 21 and over behind closed doors on private property, not around minors. The only time she says she ever commented on the smell was when her daughter was under 18.

Now the family's big celebration is set, but the smoke-free request has turned into the newest sore spot. "I really don't want to have to deal with that on my day," she said.