THE DESTINATION FIGHT

A bridesmaid bowed out of a destination wedding because the package was "just under $3K/person," and her friend did not take it well.

The poster said she had a family of four, the wedding was set for a week before Christmas, and her husband would have to miss work to make the trip happen. So she told her friend she could no longer be a bridesmaid. She says she did it gently and "made sure she felt the love."

Then came the blowup.

A few weeks later, the friend "LOST IT" after hearing the poster was going to Comic Con. Suddenly, the issue was no longer just the wedding. The friend said she was hurt that the poster was not prioritizing the wedding or saving money, and instead was "blowing money on mini family vacations." She even lectured the poster on "how I should be handling my finances if I am in a financial pickle," saying that was how she had been able to attend her own sister's wedding.

What followed was a long back-and-forth. The poster says she shared "way too much" about her finances trying to explain herself, and made it clear she would go "in a heart beat" if she could make it work. The friend did not seem moved. Instead, she basically told the poster not even to come, saying that if she somehow found the money, it still would not feel "genuine."

The poster thinks that reaction is not really about money at all. She believes the friend is upset because the ratio of groomsmen to bridesmaids is uneven, making it look like the fiancé's friends care more about him than the friend's own circle does.

Her husband also stepped in. He privately texted the friend to explain that it was about finances and that the poster was "defeated" she could not see her get married. The friend, the poster says, was "soooo cold" to him too.

What makes it stranger, the poster says, is that this is not how the friend normally acts. Usually, she "talks and thinks like a therapist." Instead, she has been sharp, dismissive, and, in the poster's view, deeply hurtful.

In an edit, the poster added that she had already thrown an engagement party because she was afraid of not being able to attend the wedding. She also did the other bridesmaid duties and showed up for every event, even when the friend's own sister did not.

Later, the friend offered what the poster described as a half-hearted apology, "basically saying I'm sorry your poor in a condescending way."

By then, the friendship was already hanging by a thread.