Dating Disasters·
THE MAYO TEST
A single mother with an ARFID-diagnosed daughter navigates a budding romance where a mayo allergy and a cruel joke push her to question boundaries, safety, and family plans.
Was she wrong to refuse the dinner?
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A homemade dinner turned into a fight over mayo, a daughter's ARFID, and a text exchange that ended with one date calling the other childish.
The 24-year-old poster said she is a single mother to an 8-year-old daughter and has barely dated since a bad relationship as a teen led to the pregnancy. She also said her daughter has ARFID, which she ties to autism, and that she does not force the child to eat "unsafe foods." Since her daughter's diagnosis, the poster said she has started to wonder if she may have ARFID too, though she usually gets through day to day by cooking for both of them and staying self-sufficient.
About a month ago, she went on a first date that went surprisingly well. They had dinner, and she said the conversation covered her daughter, future family expectations, and whether he might be interested in "being a family man." By the end of the night, he seemed open to meeting her daughter someday.
A week ago, they met up again. This time, she went to his place "just to watch a movie." He made dinner, but when it came out, she realized she could not eat it. The problem was mayo, something she says she hates and also has an allergy to because of eggs. She had already told him about the egg allergy on the first date.
She apologized and said, "I actually couldn't eat it." According to her, that was when he made a comment that crossed a line. He referenced her daughter and "her crap," then added, "Once we get you past this mayo thing -my daughter's name- can get over her crap too."
The poster says she snapped back immediately: "I'm not eating his gross food and to not talk about my daughter like that." He apologized, calling it a stupidly rude joke. She also apologized for calling the food gross, saying it really did look good, and the two of them ordered "Maccas" instead. Not long after, she went home.
About an hour later, she texted that she had fun and was sorry about the situation. He replied with anger, saying she had been a dick about it. In a follow-up exchange, he brushed past the allergy entirely and told her, "You really need to get over this, Cass. It's childish and it's not the way you raise a kid."
The poster says she was left wondering whether she had done something wrong by refusing to eat food she could not safely eat, especially after he had brought her daughter into it.